Category: What’s eating me

Going Bananas for Love

A True Love Appeal

two green and yellow bananas plastic figures
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It feels like forever…. 

Dear God,

Please let me know… “When will it be time to grow?” Your word says…

1 Corinthians: 3. 7. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

So… how long must I wait to grow fruitful in love?

Waiting on your plus one?

Waiting for the love of your life to arrive can sometimes make anyone feel like they are going bananas! As prayers remain unanswered and the period of silence begins to feel like a life sentence of waiting, one can start to question in doubt. Especially if the wants and needs lists gets ever longer the more time marches on … This has led me (and maybe you too) to ponder the question …

“Am I asking too much?”

When others come to me for advice because they are struggling with doubt that God is going to move their mountain, I’m always in 100% belief that God is going to respond to their need. When they’re discouraged because they’ve been patiently pursuing to no avail, I remind them to just keep praying.  “Ask and you shall receive!” I am quick to tell THEM. When it comes to my own unanswered questions though… I am quick to question myself more than Him. I tell myself “In God’s time, the answer will come.” However… I tend to wonder if there is a possibility that the love I am seeking is too appealing for me to ever receive.

“What am I waiting for?”

Let me explain to avoid confusion. What leads me to ask this is my experience thus far. I am made ever aware that God sees, hears and knows all. He also attends to every detail. He knows every need… and most important of all… He knows what he is doing. On more than one ocassion, the thought of whether it’s worth the wait has crossed my mind mostly because, as I ask for him to shine his light on my issue… I seem to be reaching for the tissues due to being prone to being examined more closely. As I appeal for a love that is deep and relationships that do more than skim the surface… He begins to peel back the layers in my own heart and life. Maybe the love He plans to give me is a little more uh… peeling than I bargained far. I’m feeling a little too exposed.

So… to end the suspense… my true love appeal seems to be turning into a true look at what’s already written on the walls of my own heart. With each step further in my journey to find a love for my own self, the real in this reveal is, I am no authority on the subject – We need to take a closer look at what’s already written on the subject of love by the one who pens the pages to prepare for what’s coming. It might take you a second or three but when you’re ready… come hungry….

I have a feeling God’s already got the meals ahead planned.

 

The Season to Surrender to

lunch table salad
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Okay… let me pause before saying grace for a moment.

I was in the stores the other day and I somehow found myself surrounded  by the things of a different season. I really try not to get ahead of myself because  I have already learned the hard lesson that to all things there is an order. But what in the world is a girl to do when she finds herself suddenly surrounded by pumpkins, gourds and cornucopia upon bales of hay in the middle of July?

I mean… I am not trying to be a complainer. My mother taught me “If you don’t got anything good to say then don’t say anything at all”. I just honestly lack the desire for the time of giving thanks to be upon us already. If I can be real for a moment, I am just not there yet. I am still trying to maintain through the rest of the summer, as I struggle to straggle into church every Sunday morning looking like I just got done sweating’ to the oldies!

To be honest, what upset me most about my sudden leap into Fall was that it caused me to be confronted with a question that made me dig a little deeper than I would have liked. The question: what are you doing to prepare to give thanks?

The impossible thought: a harvest in the desert

Here’s the deal. In my mind there is a season for everything. Those of you that know me personally, know that I can be a tad-bit overzealous about keeping things in order. I don’t like to put the cart before the horse, so to speak and when I am in a dry season, I realize where I am and I am prepared to weather it. However, I am not investing in any land there or expecting to see the harvest when I turn the corner.

I have read in many a good book about preparing to reap abundant fruit and I know it doesn’t start with planting, it starts with breaking ground. In order to break ground, one must purchase a plot of land to be worked first. Now, I’m no girly girl… I don’t mind breaking a sweat, especially for the things of God, and I am pretty used to hard work; I just don’t like to get my hands dirty or in this case, sandy. The root of my issue is my fear of digging deep in my faith. When it comes to what I expect God to do, I hesitate to go all in and risk failing. I play it safe and tend to take a step back and let somebody else start to plow the way first.

Plowing where I’m planted

I just have been thinking backwards. I’m looking ahead at me failing but it’s Him that can never fail me… that I fail to see. Now you find me here, in the desert. Have I been planted where I am for a purpose? In my search for heavenly love… is it possible we will get to see (cough-cough) manna fall from heaven or something even better? As I dig deeper to find true love… perhaps we should both prepare for what’s to come in this unexpected season. Who knows, by doing so, we may end up with an overflowing bucket full of gratitude for all the fruitful things coming. God gives in measures according to his own scale. I am getting back on good grounds here, and I am preparing to give thanks for what lies ahead.

orange pumpkin near white ceramic mug with seeds
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