Never Second Best

Now that you have succumbed to living your life surrendered to the discovery of true love for your own self….we can discuss seeking help. Yes, that’s right…. I said help! Now since you are a first-timer to the concept of surrender, I know this is a little hard to swallow but that huge lump in your throat is really just your pride. Our need for others is nothing new. Since the beginning of our relationship, when we took our first look at what love is actually, I disclosed that taking the path on the journey to true love is not a trip recommended for one. Especially if we want this battle won.

black and white sport fight boxer
Photo by Skitterphoto on

The Champ vs. Chump Dilemma

Like I said before… the biggest struggle in our fight for love is the battle within. No one feels good when looking forward to a losing battle and the fear of looking like a chump makes the struggle real. Having help does not make one less worthy of the title, and real champs recognize they didn’t get to the top by their own might alone. We all need someone in our corner. In our fight to find a love that is not second best, we just need to make sure we find the right one(s).

Finding your Battle Buddy

the fight in my two handsThe love you’re aiming for is in your hands…” the ME in the mirror

The first thing we need to address is… this is a different kind of fight. In the undying words of Pat Benatar “LOVE is a BATTLEFIELD” and I have been through the battle enough times to know that to keep on soldiering on, one must have a battle buddy. Heck, some of us need an entire platoon or squadron. Determining your need will be based on three things.

Three key things to consider when looking for your battle buddy or squad:

  • Know your position: what kind of stance do you usually take in a fight? Knowing the position you take will help you find those that will give you enough cover in the areas you need. All things considered, in your past experience with love you probably just wanted someone by your side that looked at and did things the same way as you. This time you’ll want someone who sees and is willing to do the things you don’t or won’t.
  • Know what you’re aiming at: To move forward in this good fight you must commit to not looking back. That’s what you employ your special forces for. Let me explain…there is no time for games. This is not your first-time and we are not playing laser tag. This fight is for real! Once you know what you’re aiming at, you need to be able to set your scope and focus on your target. Your battle buddy or buddies can handle the rear!
  • Know who is standing guard: Last, but definitely not least, is the most important player on the field… the gatekeeper. Whether your target in love is in sight or not, you have to know who is at the gate of your heart. If you are going to do this right you must be aware of the gate at all times. You have to be able to trust your gate keeper. Mine is the one that holds the very keys to the kingdom of love and life. Jesus! He never lets his guard down. I count on him as my first line of protection against the enemy that fights from within. If you want him as your gatekeeper…  just ask!


Getting ready to get engaged

Once you have determined who will be by your side we can talk about making sure your troop is prepared. Just a side note…. the gate keeper is key! If you have him in place he is certain to only let those worthy of the most honor enter this battle with you. He has already faithfully met my need. Which leads me to introducing someone who is with me on this journey for the long-haul. I have to give a shout out to one of my best battle buddies. She knows that to be the best friend in a fight she has to be prepared daily. She is in constant training and she comes with her own back up…

battle buddy

My friend Pamala… In this fight, she wants the victory as much as I do and so she hits the gym with a trainer that is second to none… Efrain at 24Hour Fitness in Kendall!

Forward march!

So now that you’ve met one of mine… It’s time for you to determine who will join you in this fight. I already have my battle buddies. They are in position and always ready to be engaged. So… find yours and invite them to join us. There is plenty of room at this round table!


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